Posts

There are no straight paths in publishing, or “How anxiety kept me from writing a ‘How I got my Agent’ post, because I’m silly that way”

The “How I got my Agent” post has become somewhat of a thing in writing circles. After all, getting an offer of representation is a milestone worthy of celebration, and many authors take the opportunity to share their experience in the query trenches, give helpful advice, and encourage others to keep on slogging.

I planned to do the same, but when the long-awaited day finally came and the wonderful Becky LeJeune of Bond Literary Agency offered representation, anxiety kicked in about two nanoseconds after the initial elation faded. Kind of a “Woohoo! Aaaaaannnd…nope” situation.

Maybe it was because I’m a bit older and more realistic (read, jaded), or because childhood bullies taught me to knock myself down before anyone else could (still hurts, but at least you see it coming). Or maybe it was because I grew up in family where pride (read, feeling good about your accomplishments, or anything, really) was subconsciously seen as bad luck; just asking for the world to kick you down a peg or two. Whatever the reason, the moment the virtual ink on the contract was dry, I started worrying that doing a “How I got my Agent” post would be bad luck, that my success wasn’t “real” until I actually sold a book. (Yeah, I know. Anxious thought make no sense.)

In my defence, there was a grain of truth behind the cognitive distortions. Having an agent is no guarantee of selling a book, just as selling one book is no guarantee of selling another. Great stories go unsold, editors and agents leave the business, and even seasoned, published authors end up back in the query trenches through no fault of their own. There are no straight paths in publishing. It’s a never-ending labour of love marked by long slogs, frequent setbacks, nonsensical back-tracks, and – if the stars align and the right manuscript lands in the right hands and the right time – the occasional success. But let’s be honest; it wasn’t practicality that kept me from celebrating my success, it was anxiety, pure and simple – a deep-seated and completely illogical fear that sharing my wins would jinx my future. (Anxious thoughts are weird little bastards, aren’t they?)

Well, now my dark fantasy novel RISE FROM THESE DARK WATERS is coming out from Bad Hand Books in 2026, and, while I’m still anxious (because of course I am), I have no excuse. So, without further ado, here’s a bare bones look at my query journey; even more proof that publishing is never a straight road.

  • Queries sent: 146, over two different books
    • Partial requests: 7
    • Full requests: 19
    • Rewrites: 2 major (including a switch from 3rd to 1st person), and innumerable minor
    • Rewrites of query package: 3-4, per novel. If I didn’t get at least one request after 10-20 queries, I revised my query letter.
    • Offers of representation: 1
  • Sales so far:
    • 17 original short stories
    • 3 short story reprints
    • 1 novel (Note: Becky’s offer of representation came on Book # 2, but it’s Book # 1 we sold first)
  • Written in the interim (i.e., between rewrites & while querying and on sub); a pile of short stories, 6 additional novels (5 of which my agent has yet to see), and 1 novella.

Do I have any advice to offer? Only that everyone’s road is different, and the only way to succeed in trad pub is to keep trying. Also:

  • Do celebrate each others’ successes; other authors are our allies, not our competition, and no one outside the writing community will understand the highs and lows of publishing.
  • Do get outside eyes on your manuscript and query package. That doesn’t mean you have to hire an editor, but it does mean finding someone willing to review. Join a writers’ group, trade beta-reads with other authors, or ask a trusted friend…whatever it takes to ensure someone finds those three times you misspelled “canyons” as “crayons”, before you send your MS out…
  • Do make use of online resources like the archives of the late, great Janet Reid’s Query Shark site. https://queryshark.blogspot.com/ (Best query advice there is, hands down)
  • Do join a writing community, whether IRL or online.
  • Do celebrate the milestones (i.e., don’t be me!) Sent a query? That’s a win. Got a form rejection instead of a ghost-pass? A win. Personalized rejection? Pure gold! Request? A win! Break out the ice cream! Offer of representation? WIN! Out on Sub? Distract yourself with cookies (and writing the next thing, but mostly cookies). Book Deal? Party! And cake!
After finding multiple instances of “Canyons” misspelled as “Crayons”, my best friend promised to make me an appropriate cake when I sold Book # 1. Behold the Crayon Cake, in all its glory!

BOOK DEAL! BOOK DEAL! BOOK DEAL!

I am over the moon to announce that my dark fantasy novel RISE FROM THESE DARK WATERS will be coming out with Bad Hand Books in summer 2026. I’ve been dreaming of this moment for a long time, and I’m so happy to be able to share this story weird, heartbreaking story of my heart with the world.

Description:

Min, royal daughter of the elven-like Yhathlin, was born to be a diplomat. Representing her nation at the joint American-Canadian embassy in her subterranean city, she was good at walking the tightrope between the edicts of blood and birth-order that governed her people, the bewildering emotions of her human colleagues, and the strict rules of the Yhathlani Treaty. Then her city was overrun by an apocalyptic plague, and her ordered world disappeared in a flood of blood, teeth, and hunger. 

Now, fifteen years later, Min is a refugee in the dying remnants of Washington, D.C.. Alien and alone, with only the voices of those she’s lost to guide her, she has one reason left to live: to protect Sophie, the last living relative of her human diplomats, or die trying.  

RISE FROM THESE DARK WATERS is an uplifting, genre-blending tale told in an epistolary, novel-in-short-stories format. It weaves between three interconnected storylines. If you enjoy epic political fantasy and love the found-document style and framing narratives of Max Brooks’ DEVOLUTION, this one is for you. 

Pre-orders available now (paperback with signed bookplate): https://badhandbooks.com/preorders/6y7d6ijfrevuvxdgvgyvr5z6q00tay

It’s been a hard year…

I haven’t posted much lately.

I haven’t had the energy.

Some stuff happened, and by stuff, I mean an abusive work situation, a TBI flare-up that tanked my health, doctor-mandated medical leave, the bureaucratic hell-scape that is filing harassment complaints (ongoing, because OMG, there’s no end to the stupidity), finding and starting a new job, and finding out I now have PTSD (thank you, old job…I really need that).

You know, nothing out of the ordinary (insert sarcasm/dark humour here, obviously). Long story short, I had a lot going on. I had to retrench.

Retrench. It’s such a Jane Austen kind of word, but it works perfectly for what I’ve been doing. I’ve been reducing costs, diminishing expenditures, cutting back in extent and quantity. Minimizing, except that instead of finances, it’s social and emotional expenditure. Some people might call it withdrawing or cutting myself off from friends and family, and maybe there was a little bit of that too. There were moments when I was in the worst of things that I couldn’t be around people. I felt spiky inside and out, like my emotions were shards of glass that would cut anyone who got too close – but to me it feels a little more like being wrapped up in a cocoon. It wasn’t intentional – I didn’t make a conscious choice to become the worlds worst correspondent (and I’m very sorry to the friends I left hanging and the new connections I never built) – it was my body doing a quick tally of available resources and deciding to shore up the defences and prepare for a long, hard siege.

Emotions take energy. Strong emotions and traumatic experiences take a LOT of energy, and so does processing and recovering from them after the fact. I’ve spent the last year with almost nothing in the tank. I wanted to do things – visit friends, write emails, craft a blog post – but they were insurmountable tasks. My body was in protection mode, and it saved what little energy I had for the things that mattered most; family, getting my health back on track, and work.

OK, that last one is debatable, and I’m kind of overruling my body there. It’s giving very clear signals which I am ignoring at my own peril, because fuck capitalism. We have a mortgage, bills, and a kid about to go to university, but as Adam so clearly articulates in the post below, being too fatigued for life outside work means I’m too fatigued to work.

No easy solutions, there.

Anyway, I won’t say I’m out of the cocoon yet, but there are some rays of sun creeping in, and one of the things my therapist has been encouraging me to do is look for and savour moments of joy. Glimmers, she calls them. I like that. And because I finally have enough energy to post, I’d like to share some that joy with you.

Here are some of my glimmers.

Our 2023 mother-daughter summer photo project. It can take 100 photos to get a good one…but those good ones are worth the effort. I love these projects – planning the costumes, doing the make-up, setting up the shots…just spending time together. I love that she’ll have these photos to look back on.
It wouldn’t be a mother-daughter photo project without a goofy behind-the-scene teen selfie.
My new tattoo.
My silly little cats, who always know when I need a little extra love and ask for nothing in return aside from food and cuddles. (Yes, I know I look rough…but that’s okay. You’re allowed to look rough when you’re exhausted. Anyway, the cats are cute!)
My daughter turning my guilty-pleasure fascination with accidents and deaths in American National Parks into a kick-ass birthday card.
Having this total bad-ass by my side.

Find the glimmers. They can be anything – a new book, a cookie, a walk by the river or a shared moment of laughter with your best friend…a fleeting second in which you forget about the hard stuff and feel okay. Find the glimmers and savour them.

It’s that time of year again: Award Eligibility Posts!

Most of my publications in 2023 were reprints (No shade – I’m super happy to have my work out in the world in new formats), but I do have one award-eligible short story this year.

My tongue-in-cheek ‘possession meets the-ex-that-just-wont-quit’ horror story, O.A.G.F was published in the Feb 2023 Issue of Cosmic Horror Monthly Magazine (Issue # 32). If you love weird, voicy horror with tough-as-nails girls and loads of Canadian content, please think about nominating and/or considering it for an award this season.

O.A.G.F is available to be read online on the CHM website: https://cosmichorrormonthly.com/fiction/o-a-g-f/

New Publication Announcement Dragon Gems Anthology (Summer 2023 Edition)

Check out my gritty yet poignant SciFi story, Beyond the Clouds, the Stars, now available as a reprint in the Dragon Gems Summer Anthology.

Beyond the Clouds, the Stars was first published in the Brave New Girls: Tales of Girls who Tech and Tinker Charity anthology (2020), in support of women in STEM. I am thrilled to see it out again in this delightful summer collection.

Dragon Gems features stories by Raluca Balasa, Gustavo Bondoni, Sasha Brown, Mario Caric, Jordan Chase-Young, Chris Cornetto, Marc A. Criley, Megan M. Davies-Ostrom, Malina Douglas, Jen Downes, R.E. Dukalsky, Allan Dyen-Shapiro, Lu Evans, LL Garland, Kai Holmwood, Steve Loiaconi, George Nikolopoulos, Antony Paschos, Christopher Rowe, Lauren Stoker, Adam Strassberg, Edgar Strid, DJ Tyrer, and John Walters — and is available in paperback, hardcover and digital formats.

Trade Paperback Editions
Hardcover Editions
Digital Editions

Categories: Anthologies, Dragon Gems, Fantasy, LGBTQ+, Science Fiction, Urban Fantasy

“White Male ‘Super-hero'” (An Anti-hero Parody)

Dudes have this thing where they get higher but just never better

Promoted on mediocrity

While their vainglory works the old-boy’s club, all of the people

they’ve shafted shine their resumes

They should not be left to their own devices

They come with prices and vices

We end up in crisis (of the HR kind)

Staff end up screaming and grieving

There’s no end to their leaving

 ‘Cause they got tired of that scheming

(and misogyny)

It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you

On Teams Chat, everybody agrees

You’ll throw your staff under the bus without a hesitation

It must be refreshing, always thinking you’ve got all the answers

Sometimes we feel like everybody must be going crazy

Can these guys really be that thick?

Too sure to listen, swiftly fucking up your major project

Credit goes to them, but never you

Did you hear their blatant narcissism gets taken for magnetism

By some other old white men? (Tale as old as time)

Staff end up screaming and grieving

They all wish they were leaving

And work has lost all its meaning

(This place sucks balls)

It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you

On Teams Chat, everybody agrees

You’ll throw your staff under the bus without a hesitation

It must be refreshing always thinking you’ve got all the answers

They make up stories about why all their best staff are bailing

It’s always us and never them

The workforce gathers ‘round and gossips, and then someone screams out

“They’ve made our lives a living hell”

It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you

It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you

It’s you, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees

It’s you, hi (hi), you’re the problem, it’s you (You’re the problem, for sure!)

On Teams (Teams) Chat (Chat) everybody agrees (everybody agrees)

You’ve got the self-awareness of a fucking mashed potato

It must be refreshing, you fucking useless white male “super-hero”

New Short Fiction and Reprints!

My newest weird horror short story, O.A.G.F, is appearing in the February Issue of Cosmic Horror Monthly. If you like bizarre horror with a decidedly Canadian twist, this one’s for you. Set in Ottawa, this one will feel just like (creepy) home for all of my local fans.

My gothic horror short story Bells is also making an appearance this month, as a reprint in The Maul Magazine. Check it out in print, or listen along on their Patreon.

2022 Photo Project

Every year, Little Person (I know, I know…not so little any more) and I do a mother-daughter photo project. It’s a collaborative effort; we design together, she does the modelling, and I do photography and edits. Our theme is always something supernatural, and past projects have includes ghosts, faeries, and mythological monsters.

For our 2022 project, we decided to deep-dive into the spirit of the season. Literally.

Presenting our take on The spirit of Autumn.

  • Dress by TAV Creations (https://tav-creations.com/)
  • Blouse, horns, and headscarf were Value Village finds
  • Flowers were made by cutting the stems off artificial flowers from Michael’s and adding hair clips
  • Make-up, such as it is, by me!